Walking Away from Tense Situations

2016 03-March 22 (13)

Church staff face uncomfortable personal encounters frequently. These meetings may be with guests, members, and other staff members. Some of these meetings may get heated – emotions may run high and the tension escalates. It is at this point there is no “win” to this situation. Everyone, especially the church, looses.


Church staff must be empowered and encouraged to step out of the circumstances. They should be instructed that walking away from the meeting (even without saying a word) is a useful tactic to calm down the emotions on both sides. The staff person may need to leave his or her own office and walk outside. I have instructed staff that if the situation is particularly tense, they are permitted to get in their car and leave the church (to go home, to go to a café, etc.). After they have left the church, they are to call their supervisor to explain why they left.


Calming down one’s emotions can be tricky especially when someone has pushed all your buttons and set you off. In many cases, the only or perhaps the best way to ratchet things down is to leave. Leaving is not a sign of defeat. It is actually a sign of maturity – that you’re not willing for the situation to get out of hand and you’re willing to take the first step to calm things down.


Lead On!